Dealing with the Inconsiderate Roommate

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The Issue:

Most of your friends took the summer off. They’re at home enjoying the sunshine and posting random pics of their free leisure time on Facebook. You, on the other hand, decided to stay on campus and get a few extra credits done. You’re living in the dorms with a randomly paired roommate, and he’s making your life miserable.

His clothing is always scattered across the floor, he doesn’t ever wash his dishes, he always sounds like he’s yelling, he comes and goes all through the night, and sometimes he randomly disappears four a couple days without saying anything. You feel like you have to tiptoe around your dorm all the time and you just want to go home.

The Solution

Make sure that you’re not angry when you decide to confront the situation, and avoid accusing him of doing something wrong; accusatory language will just make the situation more complicated. He’ll get angry with you, and it will all go downhill from there. After all, as he’s sure to point out, he doesn’t have to check in with you if he decides to take a spur of the moment trip to the beach.

Instead talk to him one-on-one. Explain how his behavior is affecting you negatively, and tell him why you’re not comfortable in your dorm. Show him why it’s annoying for you not to know when he’ll be staying on campus during the week and when he’ll be living somewhere else. For instance, do you worry about locking him out, or whether it would be okay to have your friends over?

If you’re nervous about addressing the situation ask your Resident Advisor (RA) to mediate the discussion. He or she will hopefully be able to help  you both understand the situation and work out a compromise that will work for both of you.

Ask your Residence Advisor (RA) to mediate the discussion. He or she will hopefully be able to help you reach a compromise that will improve your experience over the summer.

Remember that it’s only a few months; you won’t be living with this guy forever.

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